Hello dear D!
Thank you so much for sending this update so that we can pray with understanding. We do understand, and very well, indeed. We experienced that overwhelmingly intense spiritual attack at different times during Katie’s adopti
on. Now we can see that God used it to strengthen our relationship with each other and with Him. Each time, we were a bit more prepared, but each time it also grew more intense and pushed us to the limits of our strength and beyond. It is a hard but very appropriate and necessary place to be in to be aware of our utter helplessness before God, so aware of our sin and need of His grace. You can feel very free to be bold with your heavenly Father as you cry out to Him for help!
“Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer!
From the ends of the earth I call to you; I call as my heart grows faint!
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I!
For You have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe!”
Knowing your situation, it wouldn’t surprise me a bit if God had some kind of job for you to do that the enemy hates and fears and is resisting, but our God is stronger than the enemy even though we are not. He who is in us IS GREATER than he who is in the world. I am so glad that you are recognizing this for what it is. God will not ever use the enemy’s tools of fear, doubt, discouragement or hopelessness to get His message through to you. Said another way, if He closes the door, He will not do it using the enemy’s tools. I will pray that at every turn, you will be wise to the enemy’s tricks, his attempts to make you give up.
And D, you are in very good company. I hear from multiple families each week whom God is calling to storm the enemy’s gates by lifting His name high through special needs adoption, and the battle can be intense. We must distinguish between truth and lies and recognize when our feelings are following the lies. We must feed ourselves a steady diet of truth, and cry out to the Lord to help us reject the lies and enable us to rise up with courage to see and obey the truth.
Something else that helped me throughout an emotionally and spiritually challenging adoption process was keeping my eyes on the goal. The paramount goal was not and could not be the adoption of Katie. Our surpassing desire must be for the name of Christ to be lifted up, so that many can see a vivid picture of who He really is and what He can do.
The following paragraph, from Psalm 68, was one I read so often during Katie’s adoption that my little Bible falls open at that spot. I read it over and over, throwing all my hopes on God that He would bring the following verses to pass in our life. I cannot read them now without strong emotion; God heard me and answered “Yes,” to my pleading.
“Come and see the works of God; He is awesome in His doing toward the sons of men. He turned the sea into dry land; they went through the river on foot. There we will rejoice in Him; He ruled by His power forever.”
We are praying for you and your husband, D, and I have just underlined your name on our family prayer list. Thank you so much again for letting us know how to pray.
Much love in Jesus,