The opposite of love is not hate.

March 22nd, 2012


“If something I am asked to do for another feels burdensome; if, yielding to an inward unwillingness, I avoid doing it,

then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I put my own happiness before the well-being of the work entrusted to me;

then I know nothing of Calvary love.”  ~Amy Carmichael 


We have heard it countless times since we learned in August how badly the children in Katie’s orphanage had been neglected.


“I don’t understand how anyone could…!”




Have I ever felt that reluctant feeling rise up within me when I face an unpleasant duty?

Have I ever sighed inside when I had to walk away from a grown-up conversation to attend to the needs of a small person, again?

Have I ever felt weary just hearing about a large need?

Have I ever felt like saying, “I can’t worry about it, I have my own life to live, my own family to take care of?”

Have I ever felt that I don’t want things to change?  That I like my life just the way it is?

Have I ever felt afraid of added responsibility?


Have I ever chosen the easier path?


Have I ever, even once, met my own needs at the expense of someone else rather than meeting their needs at my own expense?


The small, soft, easy choice.  Many small choices that grow easier as they grow bigger.

Until, even when the stakes are high, we find it far too easy to say yes to self and no to sacrifice of self.

Too easy to justify a self-focused decision.

Too easy to say no to the desperate need of a tiny, helpless child.

Too easy to say no to Jesus when He calls to us,

“Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.  For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it.



We don’t understand how anyone could…?



I think we do.



I know I do.





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12 Responses to “The opposite of love is not hate.”

  1. stephanie says:

    LOVE YOU!!! Amen!

  2. Becky says:

    Thank you for your faithfulness and love!  So often, God uses your words, heart, and obedience to speak to me.

  3. Debbie Fitts (momys) says:

    Thank you Susanna!  This speaks to me on so many levels.  I have read it four times!  I have written out that quote from Amy Charmichael so I may keep it at the front of my thoughts today.  Thank you for continuing to write.  God is using you and your family.

  4. Lisa H. says:


    I’m a new blog reader and have LOVED your blog.  I’m a mom to 6 children, with 3 little girls who joined our family through adoption.  I wanted to encourage you that God has used your blog and your story in my life, and i’ve shared Verity’s story and how God used her to change you and then to change LIFE for so many precious children in EE.  I’m sure the blog is a time commitment when you are SHORT on time, but God has used you in a special way and you’ve really brought glory to Him by sharing.

    LOVED this post….I’m linking to it on fb…I hope that’s ok!

    Blessings to you in Jesus! 

  5. Tammy says:

    Thank you.

  6. Kathryn says:

    Thank you.  As a mom of an adopted daughter with Down Syndrome, people often ask me why I *chose* to have a special child.  I think this is the answer I’ve never been able to articulate myself.  As parents (regardless of our children’s needs), I believe we are motivated by love, and the decisions we are called to make glorify His love.  I am so thankful for this blog post.

  7. Gretchen says:

    I just heard about your blog last Sunday, from a woman who briefly shared your story with us at a church convention here in New Hampshire. I’ve read (skimmed) all the way from the beginning of Katie’s story and have been deeply blessed and challenged in more ways than I can express here.
    Thank you for sharing this, and thank you for the choices you have made to follow Jesus fully.  I think the phrase “the fragrance of Christ” describes what I have experienced as I read. I’m having a difficult time articulating this thought, but I have been inspired to be a better (ie, more Christ-like) mother to my own children just by seeing glimpses of the backdrop of your home and family in the middle of this amazing story He’s working out through you.
    And just a delightful (for me) side note: my husband was raised right around the corner from your neck of the woods–we’ve waded with our kids at Fishing Creek on family vacation, and driven through “the Buck” (isn’t that what it’s called?) near your church, and I betcha we’ve shopped at the very same Amish bent-and-dent store where you do!
    Again, thank you for sharing, and thank you for your faithfulness to Him in all He’s calling you to do. And…a very Happy Birthday to precious, beloved Katie!

  8. sabrina says:

    Excellent post. 

  9. Tammy2 says:

    How utterly amazing!  Hard to believe this is the same tiny treasure you brought home a few short months ago.   She looks stunning!  And so happy!  God Bless your family whose love brought Katie to this point!

  10. Tami Swaim says:

    *Gulp* lots to chew on here.  I’ve found myself asking this question over and over as I read page by page of the life of a woman; who as a child lived through abuse of her father and watched her mother suffer his rage.  And I almost can’t even go on to finish the book.  I probably wouldn’t IF I hadn’t met the author and had her sign it.  She is a believer.  She has come out of such circumstances not only a survivor but an over comer. When we are grieved by sin and appalled by it’s gore we agree with Jesus that yes His death was certainly necessary.  What we can’t do is neglect the sin that abides in our own flesh as stated in this post.  As always, well written! 

  11. Lori says:

    Hi.  I am fairly new to your blog & just amazed by Katie’s story & the story of your family.  She is so beautiful!  Her progress in such a short time is incredible! Thank you.  I do not often comment, but please continue this blog.  This story is reaching many people & will continue to change many lives.

  12. Judee Albert says:

    I adapted this to be appropriate for my pro-life work and used it in a call to action to get more people to rise up and defend human life.  I gave you credit, but thought you should know.  Feel free to e-mail me at if you have questions or concerns.  God bless you.  It’s a beautiful post.

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