Therefore we will not fear.

August 25th, 2011

Emotional state of post-stress weakness

Physical state of post-stomach-bug weakness

Feeling like I’d been in an auto accident due to jet lag and carrying nearly a hundred pounds of luggage

Five pounds lighter and lots of money saved, ahem

Milk supply slowed to a trickle and needing rehabilitation

Great need for sleep, rest, food


Children needing hugs and time to tell about their week, including days spent with a wonderful family who even took them to Gettysburg :)

Little gifts to exchange, including a fascinating journal Laura kept during our time apart

Flurry of unpacking and settling back in

Household must be brought back into order, although all reported that things ran smoothly while I was absent

Off School Monday, Reading Day Tuesday, School in Full Wednesday

Fever running through the family

Eight haircuts to give

Verity’s routine hearing test, thyroid bloodwork re-drawn, next round of immunizations

Verity teething

Verity’s two therapy visits

Must take Verity’s Specs4Us frames and prescription, and get her glasses

Adoption second stage paperwork must be processed urgently–signed and notarized, apostilled and sent to Katie’s country

Appeals for medical expedition, which have so far been granted!  Praise God!

Psychiatrist’s exam for adoption was more than six months ago; must make arrangements to update those documents

Attorney’s next fee installment must be processed through Lifesong and sent to Lifeline

International adoption clinic applied to and brought up to date, as they must coordinate admission plans with the children’s hospital

Thank you notes for all the financial gifts that have been given since we received our Lifesong report for August

Contacting other sites which must remove links to and copies of our blog

So many emails stretching back to a week ago still waiting for time to be properly answered; more coming in all the time


All [something which must remain unnamed] breaks loose.

In response to our attorney’s urgent request, and not for any other reason, I spent the day making certain posts private, and editing others.  She didn’t, however, request the heavy, sick feeling inside or the tears that flowed as I thought that I had endangered the adoptions of other little children.

A guest post by an expert on the whole matter is in the works.

It needs to be said that I was told later in the day yesterday that I had absolutely not done anything inappropriate, and that despite threats coming from some non-authoritative directions, there is no actual danger to the special-needs adoption program in Katie’s country, or to the individual adoptions taking place.  It is simply making our attorney’s life a [something which must remain unnamed], keeping her from the immense amount of vital work that she must do for many children.

We want to make something perfectly clear.  Anything–anything!–can be mocked, no matter what it is.  The fact that something can be mocked or even criticized does not make it wrong.  There is no possible way to live a mock-proof life, and it is not possible to attempt to do so and follow Jesus at the same time.

In time, I plan to write a simple recap of my week with Katie, and add pictures and videos that our attorney has okayed.  And plan to continue to tell the story as God writes it, minus the parts that must wait for a later time.

Dear friends, please know that our hearts are full after your inpouring of calls and emails and comments.  If you emailed, you will eventually receive a reply!

Yesterday, I came closer to being completely defeated and seeing through the eyes of [someone who must remain unnamed] than I ever have before, and it is a very bad place to be.  Thank you, every one of you who are doing the hard work of praying for us, our attorney, and the children.  God is answering your prayers in real time.  He is our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble!

…now off to Harrisburg to do a little apostilling… 

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26 Responses to “Therefore we will not fear.”

  1. Sandie says:

    Continuing to lift you and your family up in prayer. 

  2. Ginger says:

    Isaiah 8:12 
    “Do not call conspiracy all that this people calls conspiracy, and do not fear what they fear, nor be in dread.
    Jeremiah 42:11  
    Do not fear the king of Babylon, of whom you are afraid. Do not fear him, declares the Lord, for I am with you, to save you and to deliver you from his hand.
    Lamentations 3:57  
    You came near when I called on you;
    you said, ‘Do not fear!’

    Malachi 3:5 
    “Then I will draw near to you for judgment. I will be a swift witness against those who oppress the widow and the fatherless, and those do not fear me, says the Lord of hosts. 
    Hebrews 13:6 
    So we can confidently say,
    “The Lord is my helper;
    I will not fear;
    what can man do to me?”

  3. Kendra says:

    I’m praising God with you Susanna!  So happy to read this post.  My spirit has been lightened by it and I am so thankful God has been your refuge, your strength and you have run to Him ! Standing in the gap for all of you…

  4. Julia Nalle says:

    I am praying for you.  I went back through my posts over the last week to make sure I did not do anything to cause turmoil.  I removed a few pictures.  Please let me know if I need to do more.  We have seen much too.  Our hearts were broken a year ago.  There is no repair for that brokenness except in being God’s voice for those we left behind.  God is good.  He is moving.  He has heard the cries of those wee ones.  He has not set them aside or been indifferent to their pleas.  Praying that the mountains will move quickly and you can return with great speed to bring your precious treasure home!!

  5. Shari~hotfudgecustard says:


    Courage, Soldier Susanna!  The Lord is with you!  He is mighty to save!

    I pray that the Holy Spirit will continue to surround you and carry you, lead you and hold you, speak through you and to you as you walk this road.  You are doing His work.  He loves you.  He sings over you.  His banner over you is love!

  6. So sorry for this load on your shoulders.  I am sure I don’t need to remind you of Who will carry it for you.  Praying for strength, peace, and wisdom, and in the meantime, a quote from my husband, who often reminds me that “Just because someone’s opinion is loud, doesn’t mean it’s true.”  Blessings and more blessings…..!

  7. Amy says:

    I am so happy to hear that things are still going smoothly with the adoption :D We are still praying here!

  8. Carol says:

    That is one crazy list… May God’s strength be perfect in your weakness. Please don’t feel like you need to give a personal response to my email. I just wanted to let you know you are loved and prayed for and no reply is necessary.

  9. Marilyn Osborn says:

    (((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))  Love you, dear friend!  You are so precious!  The Lord IS with you……praying, praying, praying…….

  10. Heather says:

    Stay strong Precious One, the enemy is alive, well, and attacking!  Praying for your adoption, and for God to take complete charge of the situation.

  11. Becky K. says:

    You are loved.  One of these days we shall have time to sit and chat….but until then….I am praying!!!! 

  12. Susan says:

    Thank you for the reassurance about your little one’s upcoming adoption – prayers are continuing for her, for you and your family, and for those who are assisting you in the lengthy effort to bring her home. I am so glad to learn that medical expedition has been granted and that things are becoming clearer. My pastor just sent an email filled with concerns and prayers for you, the children, and the others affected by what’s been happening, so I’ll update him and refer him to your blog.

    I’m sorry but not surprised to learn that you’re physically and no doubt emotionally exhausted by all that’s transpired! If you can take a couple of days to treat yourself to naps everytime Verity snoozes, extra nutrition, and whatever helps you relax as much as you can under the circumstances, please, please do just that. Send out for pizza, use paper plates and napkins, have the kids and your sweetie do the laundry…you’ve earned and deserve it. For homeschool, focus on free reading this week. They’ll learn – and what they’re learning from your fine example is more important than formal instruction right now.

    Verity is going to look so cute in her little specs, though it’s hard to see how she could be much cuter!   I hope teething will be brief and easy for Miss V.

    How many people have told you to hang in there? I’m one more, and lots of us are hanging in there with you vicariously right now.  Hold fast, and right will prevail…

    Very best wishes,
    Susan in Ky
    Cousin to 2 from U.      

  13. Continuing to keep you all in prayers and for Katie’s adoption.  
    ((((hugs dear friend))))  The Lord is faithful and will be your strength!

  14. Cindy says:

    Welcome Home  Thanks for all the great updates.  Praying for your strength and wisdom.

  15. Tara and Family says:

    Praying for your family! I found your blog thru another who posted about your Katie bird. I laid awake many nights in utter disbelief and had such heartache over the condition of your daughter and the others in the same facility. My sister has adopted 3 littles w/Ds from EE. She told me that I would not be able to handle what she and her family witnessed in EE on their adoption journey, it was “that” bad! I will continue to follow along on your adoption journey of your beautiful Katie, she is simply precious. Blessings to your wonderful family for paying the ransom for this child of God! Tara ( OKC, OK )

    p.s. please don’t feel the need to send me a reply on my comment, i know your very busy w/being away from your family and have a lot going on w/your adoption abroad.

  16. Libby says:

    Praying for you and your family Susanna.  What a journey this has been.  You are such a pillar of strength – it is amazing to witness our Lord doing great things through you.  Sending lots of love your way.

  17. First, PRAISE GOD that it expediting has been approved!  That was first and foremost some thing Brandon and I begged God for!  I can’t wait to call and tell Brandon…

    Second, we are continuing to lift you up for physical strength and emotional strength.  I wish I was close enough I could come help you do SOMETHING to lighten your load.  Instead I will continue to pray from afar. 

    Third, I had no idea that Verity was getting glasses. I may have missed a post when I was reading from my phone. 

    Still following along.  ((HUGS))

  18. sabrina says:

    Continuing to lift you up in prayer and pray for your little one as well as the rest of those precious ones still needing families. Get some rest and continue to rest in the Lord. He sustains us, truly.

  19. Kristin says:

    Praying here still dear friend! I’m glad the expedition is still progressing well.

    ((hugs)) Like Stephanie, I wish I could do something to help in person, but as I can’t, we’ll keep praying and reading your updates.

  20. Heather says:

    I am praying and will continue to do so.

  21. Mandy says:

    Prayers for all of this precious children.

  22. Kelly O'Connor says:

    Enjoy your “apostilling.”  I got the reference and it made me smile!  Glad you haven’t lost your sense of humor in the darkness.  Don’t let one negative post outweigh all those beautiful ones.  You are in my prayers daily, and I truly appreciate all your blog efforts to keep us (those you haven’t even met!) updated!  

  23. Kelly Barr says:

    I praise God for how He has been working in this adoption process for you and your family, Susanna.  I am confident that He will continue to work and provide for little Katie to come home to her family who so anxiously awaits her.  I am sorry for the difficulties, but I am sure in the end, it will all have been worth it.  God bless you and your family.

  24. Ilisa says:

    You are, unfortunately, correct about how anything can be mocked and criticized.  How can we all possibly do everything correctly according to everyone?  You have your heart in the right place and we know that.  Hugs!

  25. Lish says:

    Praying for you and your family and your precious daughter so far away. Praying she will be home safe in your arms very soon and for her health and safety. Praying for all the other children awaiting their forever families and for those working hard to help them get there. I understand why you had to take down your posts, but I’m grateful I had a chance to read them, I had no idea that there were children in such great need, my heart aches for them and will be praying for them continuously.

  26. Katherine Lauer says:

    Re: the video, oh my, your little bird seems happy! Her sweet, weak laugh makes me cry! She is going to blossom under your love.

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