I will go in the strength of the Lord GOD.

August 9th, 2011

“For everyone to whom much has been given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.”

Looking at the big picture of all the unusual features about this adoption, nothing God does should surprise us by now.  We aren’t sure why He chose to shower us with all this specific information about her orphanage less than two weeks before I would be there myself, speaking with the director.  But we do know He has already given us a heart not just for our Katie, but for all the other children in this orphanage where she has spent her life.

The past several days this meeting began to weigh more and more heavily on my mind.  So much seems to be hanging on that one opportunity to talk with the director.  I am reminding myself that I don’t have to feel equal to the task, I just have to obey and leave the results with Him!  If we put confidence in the flesh, we will only get to see what flesh can accomplish.  It truly is God’s job and we can and must trust Him to see to it.

So we are praying in faith that God would help us know what questions we should prepare for my meeting with the director, that His Holy Spirit would give me presence of mind and put the right words into my halting mouth, as we have seen Him do at certain key times in the past.  That He would open up a good connection between the director and me, and that I would not unknowingly be offensive to her.  And that He would show us the next step to take, as He always has.

We also just received word minutes ago that Toni is very ill (related to her paraplegia) again, and is being told to go to the hospital.  She wrote to her families,“None should worry that my condition will affect their adoption procedure. I will fight like a wild cat for that!  Just pray for me please and I am sure the Lord will take care of everything.”

I took all the children to our friends’ house this morning, as they offered to give me one day to completely focus on final preparations for the trip.  My friend asked, “How does Joe feel about having you go alone?”  And I thought that maybe if she wondered, some others may wonder, too.

We’re not sure what it looks like from out there where you all are, but despite the fact that I am the one doing a lot of the practical adoption-related work, and that I am the one writing the story on this blog, it needs to be said that I am not the boss of this family or this adoption.  I am not the one who made the final decision that I would be going to Bulgaria alone.  Joe made the commitment way back in January, “If there are any delays in this adoption, they will not be caused by us,” and that has been his guiding principle ever since.  That commitment is what he had in mind when he was weighing the various possibilities, and when he came to this decision.  We are in complete agreement, and we are both completely resting in God’s ability to keep me safe.  I will be just as safe in His hands on this trip as when I run to the bent-and-dent store ten minutes from home.

I admire him for his willingness to so readily give up his opportunity to go to Bulgaria and see Katie, which he had been greatly looking forward to doing, in order to avoid an avoidable delay.  We also quickly realized that this will save thousands of dollars in potential lost wages, as well as in travel costs.

God then used his decision to accomplish another end that we could not have foreseen, which is just one more remarkable providence in this remarkable adventure.  But I will save that story for another time.

It is extremely heartening to us, I cannot describe how much, to know that many of you have been prompted to pray for us through this time.  Both Joe and I believe that the complete calm of spirit that we have regarding this trip is a direct answer to the prayers of our brothers and sisters in Christ.  Thank you.

“I will go in the strength of the Lord GOD.  I will make mention of Your righteousness, of Yours only.”

“I will not go unless You come with me.”  ~Gryffyth of Caernarvon

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