What do we wish others knew about Down syndrome?

May 10th, 2011

“They think we love our kids in spite of the fact that they have Down syndrome. They don’t realize we just love them.”

~Missy, mom to Violette

Have you ever noticed the shocking disconnect between the insider and outsider views of Down syndrome?

Have you heard parents talk about their child with Down syndrome as a prize package?  And how privileged they are to have received such a prize?

Have you wondered how in the world that fits with the perspective of the wider culture?  The bare fact is that our culture aborts over 90% of babies who are discovered to have that extra twenty-first chromosome.

When Verity was still an infant, seeing pity in others’ eyes cut my heart like a knife.  Now, when I see that look of concern and hear, “I’m sorry,” it doesn’t even sting.  I immediately realize that they are still over on the other side of that great divide.  I chuckle to myself and think, “You have no idea what you are missing!”

We had no idea what we were missing before we had a little someone with Down syndrome in our lives!

[Laura and Jane took a turn to dress baby dolly and take her picture.]


My friend Patti, mom to Lily, is determined to help bridge that great divide on her blog, A Perfect Lily. A few days ago, she asked many mothers to answer the question, “As a mom, what do you wish others knew about Down syndrome?”

Here is how we answered.


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7 Responses to “What do we wish others knew about Down syndrome?”

  1. Shauna says:

    Yup, I guess you just have to live it to know it.  Patti’s post was great!  My mom liked it even better than Gifts :)

  2. Susanna says:

    And what you had to say, you said well, Shauna! You shouldn’t sell your writing abilities short! :)

    (All I had left by late Sat. pm after the sale was a dead brain, weary bones, and a smile! I was all talked out!)

  3. Ginger says:

    Very sweet post. I feel fortunate to have learned all this about Ds before experiencing it myself. I don’t pray against Ds, and I can’t imagine the hard journey for all those who have. How sad to not realize what a blessing these mommies hold in their arms until later.

  4. Marilyn Osborn says:

    Just spent some time catching up on the news around here.  :)  It was good to see all of the amazing progress!  To God the be the glory!  Great things He HAS done!
    LOVE, love Verity’s pictures.  So precious!  I did go and read Lily’s blog…wonderful post.  :)
    Anyway, just wanted you to know I was thinking about you!  Can’t wait to ‘meet’ Katy-bird!

  5. Missy says:

    Lucky us is what I say! Beautiful post from my beautiful friend! (that picture on Patti’s blog is amazing of you girls!)

  6. Sandie says:

    I remember feeling confused the 1st time someone said they were sorry.  I’ve learned to just chalk it up to misinformation and ignorance, rather than an intentional slight.  Anyone who spends a few minutes with our children quickly realize why we love them so much, it is not “in spite of”, many times, it is “because of”.

  7. Shari~hotfudgecustard says:

    Thanks for taking us to that post!  One of the happiest surprises for me in following your journey with Ds is to see how much the children look like their parents.  I had never taken time before to discover that and assumed they pretty much all looked “Downs”.  It isn’t true, is it?  Wow!  : ) 

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