Right now, God has assigned us the hard work of waiting.
Not just waiting, though. Any dead body can simply wait. There is neither hard work nor any other virtue in that. The time will pass, whether they even acknowledge it. What other option do they have?
God has commanded that we wait well…patiently, resting in Him, not fretting.
I am not naturally patient as some folks are. I marvel that anyone can naturally be patient, and would question the existence of such marvels except for the fact that we have a couple of them in our family.
I naturally want to make things happen!
So what if someone like me is asked to wait for an indeterminate period of time for a life-altering answer?
It has been difficult to articulate, and my writing time has been pulled in several different directions lately. So I am cheating, and quoting from a note I recently wrote to a younger mother. She is also waiting to find out whether God is opening their way to adoption. Her story is vastly different from mine, up on the surface. But down here at heart level, we are speaking the same language.
We both want to wait well.
“M_____, I don’t know that I have words of wisdom so much as words of experience.
“Battle” is a good word to choose. The battle is really between the desires of my self for a certain result, even an excellent, God-pleasing result, and the certain knowledge that self is not in control. I simply do not get to choose the outcome or the timing of the outcome. I must bow before the LORD of all the universe and keep saying “Yes,” to Him, no matter what. When I feel I cannot, I can cry out to Him for help to keep saying “Yes,” and the help to want to say “Yes.”
It is obvious from what I write that my experience comes from having a naturally obstinate self!
But He is not just the sovereign Ruler. He is also my loving Father.
It is not gratuitous pain! It is one of His carefully-chosen tools to work good in my heart, paring away a little more stiff and stubborn self. I don’t want to waste the pain by resisting His hand and holding tightly to self.
And I desperately need Him to help me faithfully stay the course over the long term. As week follows week, and it seems like nothing is happening on any front, I can feel self pulling me to run out of patience and fret against God’s hand.
All I know to tell you, M______, is to lean harder into Him. Feed voraciously on His truth, cry out to Him to keep your heart soft. I know that this is the desire of your heart as it is of mine, and that our Heavenly Father desires it FOR us infinitely more than we ever could. He is on our side against self.
I am praying for you as we both wait on Him during these days. Love you, sister.”
Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him…
…do not fret–it only causes harm.