Of the Lord’s mercy

March 3rd, 2011

This I call to mind, and therefore have hope:  It is of the Lord’s mercy that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not.  They are new every morning.  Great is Your faithfulness.”

Every time I have sat down with firm intentions to write a Verity-update, my eyes glaze over and my mind rebels.  A paper pregnancy is a high-risk pregnancy, an emotionally demanding, even grueling experience.

I’m not sure how much of this aspect of it is getting across to the outside world.  Adventures can be much more comfortable to read about than to live through.  To paraphrase Tolkien.

A friend wrote to me,“You’re doing amazingly well through all of this.  I only got my little toe wet before I had to take it out, and I know how nerve-wracking that little bit was.”

Hmmmm…wonder if “amazingly well” can include sobbing on my husband’s shoulder, or developing a distinct aversion to opening the laptop, or being seized with a wild desire to call everyone I know who’s thinking about adoption to tell them, “Don’t do it!”  (Yes, I confess it’s true, that thought did pass through my mind!)  Or being unable to formulate any coherent prayer but, “Lord, save me!”  And being left as wrung-out as an ol’ dishrag.  A mindless ol’ dishrag, at that.

We are aware that most of you who are praying for us do not know all the nitty-gritty details.  Please know that your prayer-work has been effectual nonetheless.  We have also been upheld in very real ways by your prayers, just like Aaron and Hur held Moses’ hands up when they grew heavy before the battle was won.

The enemy has been working overtime…

…but he is not winning…

…and for now, there is a break in the intensity.  After a final flurry of papers and documents and communications earlier this week, we still have not heard from Lifeline that our file is complete and Hague-approved.  There is nothing for us to do but wait and pray and trust.

And rest.

I’ve dropped my arms to my sides and am basking in this needed gift of rest.  It is of the Lord’s mercy that I am not consumed by the enemy named Fear.

…deep breath in…deep breath out…look around…the enemy is gone…the rest of the world is still going on…God. is. sovereign. over. all…

And I finally gave up on trying to write that update!  Last night at the supper table, I interviewed some of Verity’s big brothers and sisters instead.

Which interview deserves a post all its own.

And which is coming right up!


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5 Responses to “Of the Lord’s mercy”

  1. sabrina says:

    I appreciate your openness here. You hang in there and keep close to Him. Your brothers and sisters will continue to lift you up.
    I’m going to give you this verse again because it’s just so fitting for adoption.

    I will go before you and make the rough places smooth; I will shatter the doors of bronze, and cut through their iron bars. And I will give you the treasures of darkness, and hidden wealth of secret places, in order that you may know that it is I, the LORD, the God of Israel, who calls you by name. Isaiah 45:2-3

  2. Kimberly Zimmerman says:

    Thank you Sabrina ….great verse!
    In total agreement that adventures are more exciting to read about then to live through….. BUT……thank our dear Father that there are obedient servants who (such as yourselves) are willing to “fight the fight” so that these orphans can finally find their way to a home!  Adoption is not for the weak or faint…..it’s a battle and the enemy would love more people to say “forget it, way too hard and difficult – I can’t do it, I already have too much!”
    You’re fighting this hard battle Joe and Susanna and with His strength and might you will cross the finish line w/ Katerina in hand!!!  Thank you for your obedience.  We’re your cheerleaders and prayer intercessors!

  3. Susanna says:

    Thank you, Kim and Sabrina.  You have both been such steady encouragers to me.  Don’t worry, we have put our hand to the plow, and we are not looking back!  We might feel weak at times, but God’s strength NEVER RUNS LOW, and this is truly His work!

  4. Stephanie Blanchard says:

    Susie… it is a tough battle, but I liken it pregnancy when people ask me about it.  I’ve had some hard pregnancies, I’ve been poked, prodded, belittled, put on bedrest, magnesium (UGH UGH UGH!!!!), I’ve battled hyperemesis, had an amnio, been told not to decorate a nursery, battled preterm labor and almost died from an uterine infection after one delivery.  But that sweet person that calls you mama at the end of that pregnancy journey is SO worth it.  Soon the memory of the battle fades and you remember His provision, His timing and He gets all the glory.  He will not leave you or abandon you.

  5. Stephanie Blanchard says:

    And maybe, just maybe… you’ll want to do this again when it is all said and done.  ;) 

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