Q: I spent two weeks cruising around Birmingham, flew back up to Harrisburg, took a side trip to San Antonio, and this morning, I left Philadelphia for parts unknown. What am I?
A: I am Package Dear, and Joe and Susanna have officially given up on me!
Friday night, when we saw that Package Dear was in San Antonio, our eyes were finally opened! The online tracking service was doing no more and no less than stringing us along! Package Dear was supposed to be delivered to Lifeline on March 12th. If we hadn’t been able to watch its “progress” online, long ago we would have said, “Lost in the mail,” and sent another one.
Yesterday we sent another one. Yes, by FedEx, and guaranteed to be delivered to Lifeline by 10:30 tomorrow morning. They have been looking for it since March 12th, and they are more than ready to send it right back out to the USCIS.
So here we are, stepping out of the lifeboat again. Something in me chuckles that He has asked us to to take this particular step twice.
The first time we stepped out of this boat, I knew that God was our only hope, and that He is able to do anything. But I was struggling mightily against fear, struggling to keep my face turned up away from the waves surrounding us and turned only to His face. But during these past two weeks He has used several different means to strengthen my heart in Him. It took two weeks, but my emotions have caught up with the truth.
Susanna, my daughter, Who is in charge of the heavens, the earth, the sea, and all that is in them? You are.
Who is in charge of the details of your life? You are.
Who is in charge of Katerina? You are.
Who is in charge of this rescue? You are.
Who is in charge of your paperwork? You are.
Who is in complete control of the decision of the USCIS officer who is assigned to your case two weeks from now? You are.
When you get your answer from USCIS, from Whom will it truly come? From You.
Who has truly provided thus far? You have provided.
Can I do anything I please? Yes.
Can I handle My own reputation? Yes.
Am I good? Yes.
Can I be trusted to do what is right? Yes.
Will you trust Me to do what is right? Yes.
What if I say “No?” What if I stop everything right here? Will you accept this from My hand? Will you still bow to Me? Will You praise Me? Yes. Yes, I will.
Several people have said, in kindness and sincerity, “God would not have brought you this far if He did not intend to see you through.”
We can look back and see what God has done to bring us to this place. We would not be here if He had not worked many miracles, some of which we will not be able to write about until this story is finished. He has shown us that nothing, nothing at all is too hard for Him.
…and I MUST lay this out and face it down and wrestle with it until I have completely accepted every aspect of it…
We do not know that God WILL allow us to adopt Katerina.
He simply has not given us any guarantees of this. We can search all through the Scripture, and we will not find His promise that He WILL give us Katerina. He has brought countless women to the point of birth, only to bring forth a stillborn child. Every minute of every one of my pregnancies, I did not know whether God intended to give us a living child at the end. We do not know the details of God’s plan for the future.
What we do know beyond any shadow of any doubt is that He CAN do anything.
No, He has not guaranteed a certain outcome, but we do have a guarantee from Him!
He has guaranteed Himself! His own faithfulness! His power! His goodness!
We have done the next thing He asked us to do.
Now we hang up our bow and our sword, and leave the results with Him.
…the righteous will never be shaken!
He is not afraid of bad news!
His heart is firm, trusting in the LORD!
His heart is steady!
He will not be afraid!
The battle belongs to the LORD!