Fall back!

November 10th, 2010

“Every new duty calls for more grace than I now possess, but not more than is found in thee, the divine Treasury in whom all fullness dwells.

To thee I repair for grace upon grace, until every void made by sin be replenished and I am filled with all thy fullness.

May my desires be enlarged and my hopes emboldened, that I may honor thee by my entire dependency and the greatness of my expectation.”

~The Valley of Vision

Spring forward; fall back.

Last weekend Verity sprang forward.  She is working those crucial oro-facial muscles now!  The bottles are put away!

At the same time, our household fell back two months!

There’s a thick stack of papers sitting on my desk.  It’s a stack of the daily records I’ve been keeping of Verity’s progression in her ability to eat.

Let’s see here…hmmmmm…about two months ago, Verity was taking over an hour to drink four ounces via fast flow nipple.

But…

~By the end of last month, she was taking half an hour to drink six ounces via slow flow nipple.

~Bottle feeding is a public activity.  Unlike breastfeeding as a modest mom of teenage sons while wrangling various pieces of equipment that need to be monitored and often adjusted.

~Bottle feeding was handy if I was feeling really pushed, especially if we had an appointment of any kind, because of her abundant supply of siblings who were willing to help feed her.  The option was there.

Adding all these factors up, I am finding that the sum total is one spoiled mama!

She’s back to hour long feeding sessions.  Not only that, I added a feeding time back in to her day because she wears out after an hour and four ounces, and that with a lot of help from the supplemental nursing system.  Her total intake is still a bit lower than it was with the bottles, but she was gaining too fast and spitting up too much on the bottle plan.

So she’s gone from drinking two hours per day to five hours per day.

Great for Verity’s future articulation.

Not great for my to-do list.

For the record?

I am not a naturally patient person.

Maybe someone is mistakenly thinking, “Susanna can handle this because Susanna is patient, but I couldn’t because I’m not.”  Don’t you believe it for a minute.  The truth is that you are seeing a fruit of the Holy Spirit, not a fruit of Susanna.  Susanna loves to push through and get her agenda accomplished, and she quickly feels like quitting when she is overwhelmed.  Susanna is amazed at the patience God gave her to persist in breastfeeding Verity because she would have otherwise quit at the sheer frustrating impossibility of it.  If she didn’t quit the first time, she would surely have quit the second and third and seventh and twelfth, and…therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

The Holy Spirit supplies me with what I need so I can obey what He asks me to do.  In other words, He gives grace.

His supply of grace is greater than my seemingly endless supply of self.  In other words, He gives more grace.

If I ever feel burdened, its sole cause is my own self-centeredness. His burden is light.  His grace is sufficient.

So if I must fall back, may I fall back from my own ambitions onto my Source of grace.

The Giver of grace, the Giver of all good gifts.

And speaking of good gifts…

…He could have made this task much, much harder.  For instance, He could have given me a job that didn’t involve caring for, nursing, snuggling, enjoying, playing with, loving up a little muffin who looks sweet and feels sweet and sounds sweet and smells sweet and…

…is sweet.


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8 Responses to “Fall back!”

  1. Angiedawn says:

    You are always making me cry…..:) I loved reading this this morning.She is so precious…..as is her Mamma.

  2. Ilisa says:

    I love love love that picture!  I just want to keep encouraging you.  I am a lot like you.  You once said you’d get impatient when you “had” to nurse your others.  I was like that at times too, especially when I felt like I had stuff to do!  Well, you will NEVER regret this special time with your sweet girl.  Look at it like this, now you’re making up for all that lost time from bottle feeding.  I have often thought about the time I have to sit and pump instead of snuggle with Calvin.  I just pray to have to spend a ton of time nursing him while my house falls back!

  3. danielle m. says:

    Love the “Valley of Vision” quote,  what an excellent book.  I am taking that one to add to my shelf so I can see it all day long as I struggle on in this homeschooling, homemaker with a large family role.  Thank you for the encouragement today.  To remind me, once again to get my eyes off of self and circumstance and look up to HIM. 
    And what a precious bundle she is!!  Maybe we will remember to get a picture this time!!

  4. Joy Horton says:

    Ditto Angie 100%. She is absolutely precious, Susanna. I always seem to be typing through tears here! LOL

    Love you and am SO proud of you!!! Verity is BLESSED!!!! (off to watch the video of her again!)

  5. Anna T says:

    ((Hugs)) and prayers continuing for you…  She’s doing it, but, it took sweet Verity a few months to get to where she was with bottle feeding and it will **probably** take awhile to get her faster with nursing…  You may want to ask a LC if they would be “OK” with her having a bottle once a day while you pump?  I still do this with Jacob.  Daddy, the church nursery volunteer, or, Grandma, etc… give Jacob a bottle a few times a week.  I also wanted him to continue drinking from a bottle as his two closest sisters only wanted Mommy and that made for a bit of a difficult time for whoever watched them : ) !!  Our OT was happy that Jacob was able to go between nursing, bottle, paci because they were all strengthening different oral muscles (she’s also a feeding specialist).   She’ll get there Mommy : ) !!  ((Hugs)) and prayers… 

  6. Amy says:

    What an encouraging, challenging post! THANK YOU!!! I also want you to know that you have a gift for writing!! A wonderful way with words! :)

  7. Marilyn Osborn says:

    Beautiful post….it blessed me.

  8. Lorri says:

    Just the reminder that I needed today, as I was feeling a heavily burdened.  All through His grace.

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