With heart content

August 9th, 2010

Today our household began the process of fighting the dirt, disorder and disobedience that has been closing in on us during the past weeks.

My duty is to oversee that process while taking care of a very high-needs baby, and keeping her away from all her siblings who have runny noses!  Which siblings include four lively, napless, small male children.

We got a good start today, thanks to the willing and energetic labors of our older children.  We hope to be completely caught up by Thursday afternoon when the Early Intervention folks come.  My oldest is telling me that we’ll be ready for them by tomorrow morning.  Oh most optimistic one.

If you have unsuccessfully tried to contact me over the past few days, I beg your temporary understanding!  I am in timeout, you see.

Yes, I really took that picture just for this post.  May come in handy for future times as well.

Verity’s needs are still taking one and a half hours out of every three around the clock.  She has an extended appointment with Dr. Chowdhury tomorrow at the Lancaster branch of the Children’s Heart Group, and will get her follow-up echocardiogram then, Lord willing.  I’ll have to tell the doctor that Verity still isn’t taking much from the bottle, and is showing signs of reflux.  But she did drink her whole suppertime bottle tonight, thank the Lord!

I’ve taken a total of one rather pathetic picture of Verity since we arrived home!

This is our little owlet, just before midnight last night.  Yes, that is her carseat inside her bassinet.  The pacifier and lambie arrangement helps to soothe her when hiccups naughtily jolt her incision and make her cry.  I tucked her in after an hour of bright-eyed smiles to Mommy.  One of these days she’ll do that in the morning, when the light is best for taking pictures.  I wouldn’t change a thing about this sweet reward from God, except for her insistence that the correct response to daylight and bottles is to fall asleep!

The following details are for my sister moms of many who probably wondered at my blissfully idyllic hopes for yesterday. We did have some homemade soft ice cream after an emergency defrosting of our biggest freezer!  I’m sure it tasted better after we used the attic fan to pull the smoke from a badly burned lunch out of the house.  Well, did we at least sing?  Sing we did, in the midst of suitcases, sleeping bags, laundry piles, bits of fuzzy grass someone apparently thought might grow if it was sprinkled on the living room floor, and dirty feet.  It was that or waste the whole day working.  I shamefacedly admit that my fleshly desire was to waste the whole day working.  And we did learn about the children’s week, complete with pictures, some of which will be forthcoming.

One of the hymns we sang yesterday amidst the chaos is worthy of memorization.  So we’re going to learn it next.

It is a lovely, poignant melody in a minor setting.

“If thou but suffer God to guide thee
And hope in Him through all thy ways,
He’ll give thee strength, whate’er betide thee,
And bear thee through the evil days.
Who trust in God’s unchanging love
Builds on the rock that naught can move.

What can these anxious cares avail thee
These never ceasing moans and sighs?
What can it help if thou bewail thee
O’er each dark moment as it flies?
Our cross and trials do but press
The heavier for our bitterness.

Be patient and await His leisure
In cheerful hope, with heart content
To take whatever thy Father’s pleasure
And His discerning love hath sent,
Nor doubt our inmost wants are known
To Him who chose us for His own.

All are alike before the Highest:
’Tis easy for our God, We know,
To raise thee up, though low thou liest,
To make the rich man poor and low.
True wonders still by Him are wrought
Who setteth up and brings to naught.

Sing, pray, and keep His ways unswerving,
Perform thy duties faithfully,
And trust His Word: though undeserving,
Thou yet shalt find it true for thee.
God never yet forsook in need
The soul that trusted Him indeed.”

These are the words of a seasoned pilgrim who took God at His word when He said, “Cast your burden on the LORD, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.”

I believe that, too.  And I want to have the cheerful hope, with heart content.  So here goes the burden…

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17 Responses to “With heart content”

  1. Denise says:

    You mean I’m first to comment!!  LOL   I admit I’ve checked in WAY to often!! 
    Just wanted to check one more time before off to bed– for an early morning.

    I am so glad you all are HOME together.

    The house will come together– but I do understand how you felt about getting things “done”.   Its a tough balance some days…..

    Hug and Kiss that little girl for me!!! 

  2. Samantha says:

    So glad your family is home and all together again!  What a great hymn!  Would you mind telling me the title?  Thank you!

  3. Marilyn Osborn says:

    Oh, I’m so glad to hear from you!  I know you must be so very tired.  (((hug)))
    How I understand that struggle to be still and put the work off at times when we need to.  I do pray that things will come together faster than you imagine.
    Keep the posts and pictures coming when you can.  We all love to see them….but take care of yourself and that angel first!
    Praying now….especially for her eating and sleep schedule..and of course, continued healing!

  4. We do enjoy your updates, but I completely understand that you are busy and when you do have some moments, you need to rest and do the 101 other things that you need to do.  (((hugs)))
    Still praying here!

  5. Dad says:

    Oh, how I love your post…classic Susanna!  You are probably doing much better than 99% of others…your children are blessed to have a Mom (and a Dad) like you two. Thanks for the hymn…one of our favorites!  Sally and I will sing it together at bedtime tonight, and pray its blessings for you, ourselves, and all of your friends. Give our little owlet an extra kiss from us…we can’t wait to see her…and all of you again. May peace be with you.

  6. Anna T says:

    Oh Susanna, how I remember the 1.5 hours out of every 3 hours… I felt as if I was constantly trying to feed Jacob, or, pumping, or, changing a diaper, or, cleaning out my pump to get ready to do it all again (and I’m certain you have other things to do with sweet Verity).  Please resist the urge to have everything tidy for the EI visit.  I know for myself that’s easier said than done, but, our house was still quite a bit topsy turvy when they visited the 1st time and they were all eyes for baby Jacob and very interested in him, they fell in love with him on that 1st visit!!  A clean table to sit at it is good and that’a what we had (and toys and laundry everywhere, etc, etc… : ) !!  Yes, turn your eyes to Jesus for the strength that you need.  Maybe some meals could be brought to you?, or, a few friends could come and help with watching children and/or cleaning.  No happy nappies for the younger chidlren, that’s tough too!!  I’m continuing to pray for you and I’m so thankful that you’re home, what a sweet blessing Verity’s open heart surgery has been — no pacemaker (praise!), nursing (praise!), all of the wonderful people that you met (praise!), your physicians (praise!), etc, etc… ((Hugs)) and prayers for you! 

  7. Shari~hotfudgecustard says:

    Anna says it best — all those praises.  The work will eventually get done.  My mom says, “Slow and steady wins the race.”  How wonderful to be back together, learning a new normal together.  I’m praying for rest for you and peace for your children.

  8. Stephanie Blanchard says:

    I’m so thrilled you are all back together! I wish I were close enough to offer you help! I’ll be praying for the appt, Verity’s eating and sleeping, and the EI visit too!

  9. Aunt Mary says:

    Your mother told me on more than one occasion that when she was worrying about the house’s appearance because someone was coming: “The Lord reminded me that my heart being prepared is more important than the house being prepared.”

  10. Lorena says:

    Everyone else has said it already, Susanna, so just know that I’m happy for your blessings and praying for your struggles!  :o)

  11. Aunt Carol says:

    Am so happy that your family is all back together.   Am continuing to pray for each of you.

  12. RebeccaJ says:

    Big hugs!  And prayers for a much needed “restructuring”.  Be patient and gentle with yourself.  :)

  13. I am sure your house will be in much better shape than most that the early intervention staff go to……  Even if you had come home after three weeks and they showed up!

  14. Joy Horton says:

    Your dad’s posts ALWAYS choke me up! What a sweet and Godly man!

    That picture of Verity absolutely melts my heart. She is SO PRECIOUS! Oh, I could just eat her up (but I won’t!).

    I’m so glad to hear that you’re all home together. I can’t imagine how exhausting and full life is for you right now! You are such a good mommy and those children are so blessed to have you and Joe over them!

    ((((((((((((((((hugs and prayers))))))))))))))))))

    PS We have totally done the carset IN the bassinet thing – that cracked me up to see that sight which I haven’t seen for quite some time now!

  15. Susanna says:

    Samantha, all I have for a hymn title is the first line, “If thou but suffer God to guide thee.” Here’s a link I found for you–http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bq8iGWzPQFQ

    Watching and listening to this sends tears down my cheeks and shivers down my spine.

    And a big huge THANK YOU to all of you who are encouraging me with the truth and praying for me. xoxo

  16. Thank you for all of the updates and pictures!

    I am a big fan of putting babies to sleep in their carseat in their crib! All of my boys slept that way!

  17. Samantha says:

    Thank you so much, Susanna, for posting that link!  What a great hymn with a wonderful message!  Thank you for all of the posts and pictures of your precious daughter!

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