…all my fears, large and small, had come to pass?
…our friends and family had blamed us for having had one too many children? And awkwardly avoided us? And thought that Verity’s birth was not worth anticipating, or that her life was not worth celebrating?
…she never re-learns how to breastfeed?
…she ends up with a naso-gastric tube and forgets how to suck?
…she’d failed to thrive in the womb and had been born prematurely?
…she had not made it to birth alive?
…her cord had prolapsed that night?
…she had been born by C-section?
…she had been born blue and suffered serious, irreversible brain injury?
…she’d been diagnosed with a seizure disorder that causes severe delays? Which would mean that she would never walk or talk or respond to us in any way?
…she’d been born with one of the other, more serious trisomies, like T13 or T18, instead of plain ol’ T21? And the medical staff had refused to treat her?
…she’d had birth defects that did not show up on the ultrasounds? Like cleft lip or cleft palate, or any number of internal defects?
…she was still in the NICU?
…she’d needed immediate surgery?
…she hadn’t survived, and we had to tell our other children that they would not be getting a little Verity-sister?
…she’d had club feet? [What is it about baby feet!?]
…we’d been forced to take government help to pay the medical expenses?
…we’d had to re-finance our mortgage?
…she was an inconsolably colicky baby?
…she hadn’t been cute?
…I hadn’t bonded with her?
[*blushes with shame*]
Would God still be sovereign over all things?
Would that mean that God had mercy on other people and not on us?
Would it mean He had forgotten about us? Or made a mistake this time?
And that it was right to fear?
Would He still be our Provider? Would it mean the need was too great for Him?
Would He still deserve our worship? Our praise? How about our trust?
Would God still be GOOD?