10 Rules for Acceptable Babies

April 5th, 2010

Okay, let’s see if I can get this right!

1.  They must only be born after several years of marriage.

2.  They must be either baby number one or baby number two.

3.  Baby number two must never on any account come sooner than two years after baby number one.  Preferably at least three years.

4.  If the first two babies are the same gender, their parents may be allowed to try again, but will be expected to explain this motivation to justify their decision.

5.  They must not cause anyone inconvenience, whether parents, siblings, extended family or friends.  (Among church people, they must not keep the parents from doing “real ministry.”)

6.  They should be photogenic, and parents who can make them look trendy are a big plus.

7.  Of course they must be healthy.

8.  They had better be smart.

9.  Their parents also must be able to prove that they have all the money in hand to outfit and rear them according to the culture’s standards up through their college years.

10.  If they are out of line in any of these areas, they must have parents who can explain themselves to any stranger on any given day.  They may be given grudging acceptance if the parents can prove that their other children are all healthy, smart and cute.

So to sum up the cultural perspective, in order for a new human life to be truly worth celebrating, he or she must be perfect and fit perfectly into the parents’ perfect life.

No one has ever sat me down and laid it all out for me, but out of my years of observation, I think these are basically the rules.  Did I miss any?  I’d love to hear them!

By the way, we think these rules our culture has come up with (including nearly all modern Americans who call themselves Christians and also completely agree with this perspective…hmmmmmmm…) are all bosh.

Did you hear that, Verity?  You are our reward from God, we love you and can hardly wait to kiss your sweet little face!

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10 Responses to “10 Rules for Acceptable Babies”

  1. M says:

    Sadly, these ‘rules’ do seem all too commonly accepted and followed by most people today. I’ve heard comments relating to all of them in one way or the other over the years. I’m so thankful my husband and I do not choose to follow them, though, but we follow Christ and the teachings of the Bible and we gladly accept any and all blessings sent our way :) 6 so far and prayerfully more to come!

  2. Joy Horton says:

    All I can do is stand here on the sideline and applaud you, Susanna! Go! Go! Go!!!

  3. Susanna says:

    We’re over here on the sidelines next to you, Joy, watching God do what He will do!

  4. What pressure we put on children who aren’t even here yet. You will be so blessed by Verity as we are blessed by our Jack. And hopefully through our families and so many others, these rules will begin to change! God uses the small and the weak..the unpopular and the cast-a-ways to change the world. He shows that he is mighty! Prayers coming your way.

  5. Susanna says:

    Thank you, Brandi! Yes! That’s what I was just reading this morning in 1 Cor. 1! God chooses the foolish, weak, low, despised, the nothings, to bring to nothing the things that are, so that none of us can boast in His presence!

  6. Lori says:

    I know what you mean!  I only have three children, one daughter and twin boys, and I hear it all the time, about how I have my hands full, or my least favorite, “I guess you’re done, huh?”  or “What if you have twins again?!” They totally can’t understand how I would want more, including my own inlaws! When I mentioned laughingly that my boys were getting so big, I guess it was time for another one, my mother-in-law and her sister cornered my husband to drill him, wanting to know if I was SERIOUS!?  As if it would be anything to them if I had fourteen!  Or as if I was trying to coax him into something, that he wasn’t in agreement with me, which he is.  Things like that really irk me.  The world is full of self-centered, selfish people who don’t truly value children for the blessings they are.  (And yes, I want more, if you were wondering. LOL)

  7. Heather Dawn says:

    HI Susanna~
    I was led to your blog by Carrington’s Courage … what a wonderful story they share!  When she mentioned your Katie reminding her of their Carrington I prayed!  and then last night I followed her link to this blog.  Today I am reading older posts and am so encouraged and inspired. 
    You see, I have been in tears for the last two weeks as we are pregnant again (after three babies not making it through the last three pregnancies).  We are now 11 weeks, but unsure of our future or this baby’s.  I long to be in God’s will … I long to live for Him … and yet we feel so alone.  We get questioned all the time why we would want any more children since we have 5 (one with a life long illness).  And then after 3 losses why not “be done”?  oh how little the people around us value life.  No, not everyone is like this, but the majority of people we know have said hurtful things.  I have felt no one will celebrate this tiny life with us.  And to be led today to some of the posts you shared here is blessing me today.  You may not be a part of life, but it is reassuring to read of other families who celebrate life … all life!  And who feel the same call from God.  We have prayed and prayed about wether or not to be “done”  and have always received a resounding “NO, you are not done”.   So we pray for the tiny life I carry now and we try to celebrate they joy he or she will be to our family.   And we pray for your family too … the blessings of all your children and for the wellbeing and care of Katie now.  Thank you for sharing your journey so publicly.  You are sharing what God wants and needs other to hear.

  8. Sheri says:

    I will rejoice with you Heather Dawn…I was just thinking the same about Susanna, how it is so nice to know the “rules” are not believed by everyone everywhere.  I try not to share that I would love more children, but this week I dared with some very close friends…they’re probably praying for me that it will pass. :/

  9. Randy Boroughs says:

    I was reading your “10 Rules for Acceptable Babies”.  We ran into “baby should be same race as parents”.  Babies would be better left in an orphanage than be placed with parents of another race.

  10. Emily Ross says:

    I had three kids in less than 3 years and when I was pregnant with my third, almost everyone I knew, even my father, questioned it, said it was a bad idea or the most common:  “Was this planned?”  (As if that was any of their business anyway!)  It was the hardest time of my life, and it was a miracle that my kids all survived, ’cause I was a very stressed our mommy!  But they love each other and as I’ve seen them grow, they needed each other to be at that time.  I love them, and hope to have more!!!

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