Around this point in every pregnancy, I get this strong desire to get out the newborn clothes, hold them, smell them, lay them all out and look disbelievingly at how very small they really are. I assess whether there is anything I need to start looking for in the thrift stores over the next months. Now that my girls are older, it delights their hearts as much as it does mine to start to visualize our next tiny one wearing these tiny things.
Of course, I know they all have to be put away again for later, but for me, it has always been part of the joy of pregnancy.
This time we can get out the pink clothes.
Today, the thought came into my mind, but this time it was immediately followed by questions. Questions that had never come into my mind before.
But what if…?
Would it make it all that much harder?
Am I just being morbid? Or realistic? Or…?
I don’t know. But for now I’ll wait. Until I can do it without wondering whether or not I should. It’s not a moral issue, and I’m probably making more out of it than necessary. I just felt a prick of sadness that the questions are there at all.
Susanna, what is the truth? The truth is that God knows the future and you don’t. If you needed to know, God would tell you. So in place of knowing, there is hoping in Him, trusting in Him, resting in Him, waiting on Him.
Part of the Scripture my friend sent me today from Psa. 31 was this,
“Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the LORD.”